Spirit Coaching

Spirit Coaching.jpg

I was sitting on the couch in the living room messing around on my laptop when John came home. 

We chatted for a bit when I noticed the pull...like there was a black hole hidden somewhere inside of his body silently pulling on my spirit.

I ignored it thinking he was going to take off like he normally does. Also, I had been planning to go on a walk in a few minutes, opening that door would prevent me from being able to go on my walk and get to sleep at a reasonable hour.

He ended up sitting on the seat next to me and pulled out his laptop. 

We settled into doing our own, separate things for a moment when he piped up, "I had this really strong urge to play video games today."
"You did?" I asked.
"Yeah. I haven't played a video game in MONTHS and today, I suddenly wanted to play one really bad." 
"Interesting." I had a musing face. I assumed his sudden spike in desire to play video games was coming from an emotional need to feel comforted and video games used to be a way he would cope with unwanted feelings. 
"What?" He asked.
"What?"
"You're thinking something."
"I'm not thinking anything." I lied, my hopes still on that evening stroll. I also realized how presumptuous my thought was, maybe he just wanted to play video games. Why do assume things so quickly about people?
"You looked like you had a thought." He asserted. 
"Well, there's probably a reason you want to play video games all of a sudden." I offered.
"Like what?"
I decided I would throw something out and see if he wanted to have a conversation or if he was just saying things. "I'll bet you used to play video games to drown out unwanted feelings of pain or fear or frustration or anger. Something probably happened today or the past couple of days that you need to work through."
"Hm. I can't think of anything that might have happened the past few days. Everything is pretty good actually. If something’s off, I'm not aware of it." 
"You're going through 1st year, things are happening. Things are changing and shifting. Your mind is using its creative powers to find a solution to the pain you're feeling. In the past, it was probably video games. So it's finding a solution to your feelings to make you feel better. You're looking for comfort."
He snickered.
"What's so funny?" I challenged. (He must be uncomfortable with the word 'comfort.' I thought to myself.)
"I don't know...it's just, the word "comfort..."
"What about it?"
"I don't know. I'm actually not sure why I'm laughing." He confessed. Getting serious again.
"Does the word 'comfort' make you uncomfortable? We all have needs and recognizing those needs is important for us to get them met in healthy ways and live to our fullest. You think needing comfort is a sign of weakness. It's not manly. Comfort is for pansies and girls and children." 
"Yeah..." he offered lamely.
"It's kind of a problem when you won't admit you need comfort when it's a function of the role of the Holy Spirit in your life. He is The Comforter and you're not okay with being comforted. I imagine it's difficult for you to receive what God is giving you because you reject the way He comes to love you."
John's face became grave. He started catching the weight of what we were talking about and how close-to-home it actually was.
He spoke up, "Yeah, I used to be open to people. But I realized that people can give some pretty crappy advice. And they're not actually listening to you, they just want to tell you what they think. So I ended up giving people advice but they didn't really have much to give."
I heard what he said but I also heard, underneath all of that, 'I don't trust people and have elevated how I see myself in delusion because I'm so much more aware of how smart I am over what other people have to offer. I have agreed with pride and arrogance to the point where I am totally blind to the gifts and anointing of others. I'm lonely. I'm tired. I'm jaded. I'm a little scared that life kinda sucks.'
"I'm gonna throw something out there for you." I replied. "You've had some difficult experiences and been in some lame relationships. You've agreed with spirits in that place to help you interpret what's happening in the world you live in and how you're going to respond. You've partnered with spirits to help you get results you want and to protect yourself. I'm not trying to make this super spiritual but I also refuse to ignore what I see influencing what's happening. Spirits bring a perceived benefit. But you have to realize, they actually delude your ability to recognize reality, the truth, for what it is. They slant your perspective." 
I went on to explain the spirit of rejection as an example. I explained how a spirit of rejection speaks to us and how it affects us and how it affects other people around us when we agree with it. I could tell he was identifying with the symptoms I laid out, it was all too familiar to him.
I continued, "The aim of these spirits is to destroy you, to steal from you, to rip you off. It sucks."
"Yeah, I've noticed with my mom, there are times where she'll say or do something and I feel all of these emotions that I'm not proud of but I can't help it. The truth is I love my mom and I want to get better at loving her. But sometimes she just drives me nuts. While you were saying all of that, a memory with my mom kept coming up in my mind." He ended up explaining a situation when he was fourteen with him and his mom. She didn't respond to his vulnerability and creativity like he had anticipated and he was devastated. 
As soon as I heard this part, I knew it was time for things to escalate, simply conversing wasn't enough anymore, it was time to address the spiritual powers at work in John’s life. That moment was coming up because it was time to address what happened.
"Hey, the good news is, we can do something about this. If you're up for it, I can pray with you and we can take care of some of this. That memory is probably coming up because God wants to do something about it. Sometimes God rewrites our past and gives us His perspective on what happened rather than what we took away from a specific memory through the lens of our pain or fear." I refrained from using the word 'sozo' so as not to elicit any undue fear or walls. 
"Okay." He agreed.
"Your life's about to change. You're welcome." I said with a smile. "You're going to be the barometer. I'm going to look to you to tell me what's going on inside. What you're thinking or feeling. You're going to think things that aren't actually you but they're going to use a voice you've assumed is yours. They don't like what's about to happen. They're probably going to try and subvert me in your mind. Thoughts like, 'this is ridiculous, none of this is real, Mike's crazy.' Just pay attention to that stuff and keep me apprised."
"Okay." He laughed nervously. I could tell he had faith in what I was saying though.

I asked God to take John back to that memory with his mom. He did. I led John through some prayer. I had him repeat things after me. "Your confession is powerful in your own life." I explained. 

We did this regarding a few things that came up. He seemed pretty heady and untouched by everything. I was a little concerned. "Maybe I missed it...maybe he's not actually ready to deal with any of this. Maybe he doesn't trust me. Maybe he isn't comfortable enough to actually feel anything." I thought. 

I persisted and kept leading him. I asked him what God was saying. 

"He said, 'The reason you're mad at your mom is because you've distanced yourself from her and you only looked at her as your enemy. You've only thought about how she hasn't measured up and didn't realize the things she was dealing with."

I was surprised by the accusation and condemnation in what he said. "That's not God." I thought. 

I put my hand on his back, "God, thank you that John has ears to hear you. Any spirit not of God, I command you to be quiet in the name of Jesus. Father, would you speak to him in the silence?" 

We went at it again. John seemed a little more hesitant this time. He had a vision of his mom as a child. She reminded him of his niece, whom he loves dearly. He explained to me how God saw his mom...he seemed to have some trouble getting out what he was saying. 

His grandma came up. He was very angry with her. We stopped praying for a bit and just talked. He explained some things about his grandma. He had so much anger and resentment towards her. He cussed multiple times at this juncture. We prayed into this. I was still not sure if we were getting anywhere. He still maintained this mechanical demeanor though the content of his thoughts and feelings was becoming more colorful. 

Then it hit. I had him speaking to his grandma, forgiving her for things. First, I specified things he would repeat after me that he was forgiving her for. Then I opened it up to him. "Grandma, I forgive you for...now you fill in the blank." I instructed.

He started to list things he was forgiving her for. Then the tears started to flow. He persisted through the pain and embarrassment, releasing his grandma of things he had held against her for years, even from his childhood. Tears and now snot. They dripped down to the end of his downturned nose. Thankfully, there was a towel near us. I grabbed it and gave it to him. 

This went on for about five minutes. He continued to suck the poison out of his heart towards his grandma, crying quite intensely. He had to stop at times because of how overcome he was. I just sat there, rubbing his back, affirming him as he went. 

"Okay, I think I'm good." He said.
"Okay, can we talk to another person?" I asked.
"Who?"
"I want you to forgive your mom. Can you do that or are you spent?"
"I'm spent." He said.
"Okay. There's one person I want you to forgive before we're done here."
"Who?"
"You."

This led into another intense time of sobbing and sweet exchange with God. The things God was telling him caused "Wow" and "Whoa" to come out of my mouth. 

I was laughing to myself as he was going through this experience. There were so many moments I would have pulled the plug on this earlier in the conversation. I was so glad that I stuck with him. I thanked God for how He had trained and equipped me for moments like this. John’s life was changing before my very eyes and I got to be part of what God was doing in his heart. What a privilege. And somehow I've become effective at stepping into people's nightmare's and anger and pointing them to the door of truth and freedom. It was very humbling to watch God pull on the gifts He has given me to lead this son to His heart. 

What a cool experience. 

When we had wrapped up, I looked at John, into his bloodshot eyes and said, "All that from wanting to play video games."

We both chuckled.

I've Been Here Before...

I've been here before....jpeg

“Do you have any passages of scripture you know you’re going to use that I could look up now to be prepared?” my translator asked me. The service would start in about half an hour. 

“No...I don’t know what scripture I will use yet.” I replied. 

“Okay. Do you know what you want to do for ministry at the end?” 

“I’m sorry, I don’t.” I said. 

“That’s okay.” She said, graciously. “It’s going to be tight again, the room will be packed. It might be difficult to move people around because there are so many of them. But we will do whatever you want to do.”  

Before the service began, the church had a time to fellowship and snacks. I went into the mingling room to hang out with the people, the service would start in twenty minutes. 

A woman who knew who I was came up to me and struck up a conversation. Eventually, she asked,

“Is it a secret or can you tell me what you’re going preach on tonight?” 

“It’s a secret.” I said. 

“That’s okay, I’m just curious about how you prepare to preach.” 

“Yeah, I mean, I’m ready but I’m still not clear on what I’m going to share.” I confessed. “It’s still a secret to me too.” 

“Oh!” She laughed uncomfortably. “Do you need to leave? Am I bothering you?”

“No! I’m happy to chat.”

“Okay. I could not be here if I were about to preach, I would need to be alone and be preparing.”

“Haha! Totally.”

“Well, I’m excited for what you’re going to share.” She said.

“Me too! I’m looking forward to it!” 

As I began my sermon, I told the congregation, “I’m not sure what all is about to happen.” 

They laughed. 

“If I offend you, I’m not planning on doing that. Sometimes we have our plan but God changes things. So I want you to know up front, if I sit on your lap, it’s not in my plans to do that.”

They laughed again.

“I don’t know where this is going but I’m excited to find out.” 

They cheered.

(I legitimately didn’t know what the plan was, I was just confident He had one and He was going to show up. So, in all my years of experience working with Him, I chose to do the smartest thing and hold any plans I could come up with VERY loosely. I had to do SOMETHING, but I had to be open-handed about how I went about it.)

It was over nine years ago. I had just moved back to Oregon after spending five months in Japan, following the voice of God and trying to obey what He was guiding me toward. I had encountered Bethel. I had seen God move in dramatic, obvious and very physical ways I had never seen before.  

And then I was back to normal life, like I had come out of the wardrobe and was back to life like Narnia had never taken place. 

It was a scary season for me, scary in the risk. I didn’t know what was coming, my future was unclear and I had no plan. All I had was God telling me not to stay where I was. One night, I had a dream. I walked into this old cathedral. Tall ceiling, stained-glass windows, an organ, pews...and in the pews were giant bullet shells where the people would normally be. The pews were lined with them, the church was full. 

I knew I had to touch them, I had to end their slumber. So I pushed the first one and blue light shot out of it. I walked up the aisle and continued to push the bullet shells near me, they each, as they were disturbed, shot blue light. So I ran throughout the building and touched all of the shells I could. I was pushing them harder and as they jostled the shells next to them, they would erupt in light also. 

I woke up and knew the dream was significant. I knew I had to equip the saints. I knew the bullets signified the gifts of the spirit, I knew they had to be awakened. I knew spirit had to be aroused.  

As I was preaching to the congregation, I was sharing a story about when God messed up my plans right before I got up to preach at a different church a couple of years ago. He reminded me of a dream I had six years prior. Then He revealed to me the mystery of that dream right before I got up to preach. It messed me up real good. 

“History, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.” -Morpheus

I was preaching in this cathedral all weekend but it wasn’t until the last night I was there, in the middle of my sermon, as my words were being translated into Finnish, that I had the eerie realization...this was the cathedral from that dream. 

I maintained my composure, no one had any idea my life was folding on itself and my destiny was being fulfilled. 

Fifteen minutes later, I shared about what was happening. The church erupted in excitement and celebration. God was with us and He was doing something special. I’m tearing up now as I write this. Life is so much a story, it’s not even funny. He’s so thoughtful and crafty and elaborate. 

I preached on the love of God and the significance of His kids. Then I had people stand up to be prayed for. The ministry team was released to go minister to the congregation while I prayed. Then I started walking around, laying my hands on people, I was compelled. People started to shake, they were falling over. 

I got to this one woman, I put my hand on her back and she began to shake. Then she began to yell and moan as she shook harder. Something powerful was happening to her and somehow, by me touching her, it was increasing. So I commanded the fire of God to fall on her. She began to yell louder and shake even more. Then she began to scream. It was so loud and so intense that I got a little nervous. She was screaming at the top of her lungs like someone was stabbing her with a hot branding iron. But it didn’t feel bad to me. The room got quiet and the people were becoming afraid. 

I started laughing because the situation was absurd. I explained in the mic, “This is really normal.” to assure them. 

I continued laying hands on people, they continued to shake and yell. This practice wasn’t new for me but the intensity of the result was. I hadn’t seen this kind of manifestation before, especially to this degree and over this many people. The anointing was flowing, God was with me.  

Beliefs were changed, mindsets were shifted, demons were confronted. Truth was occupying hearts. Gifts were imparted, stirred up and activated. 

I’ve always believed the Church needed an awakening in the gifts of the spirit and to be taught HOW to use them. When I awoke from the bullet cathedral dream, I accepted the assignment to wake up the gifts in the Church. I didn’t know I would get to be this hands-on and in the trenches with the people, releasing the breakthrough. 

I’m humbled. I’m flabbergasted. I don’t know what I’m doing. As I continue to trust Him and rest on the fact that He comes when I speak, the fruit comes too.

Stop Listening!

Stop listening! (Option 2).jpg

Spirit

What a fascinating word. For most of my life, I had no idea that there is something beyond what our eyes can see. I knew about angels and demons but I never heard about spirits.

While spending time with Mike as my mentor in my 3rd year of Bethel School of Ministry, my awareness of the spirit world definitely expanded. It has been a fascinating journey, I’m adding a lot of different words to my vocabulary. A new world has been opened up to me since attending this school and especially whilst being under Mike’s leadership.

One of the patterns I noticed that happened and is still happening in my life is I would have thoughts in my mind that I had no understanding of what to do with them. I would run in circles around the same questions that I had no answers to, I couldn’t get out of the cycle of thoughts.

It is interesting to consider the possibility that not everything you think is coming from you. We are spiritual beings and we are gifted with the ability to understand our own spirits as well as others. To hear spirits talking to us is nothing more than agreeing with their proposals and ideas. Most of the time we don’t even hear their offerings in English (or our native tongue) because a lot of the times we have no idea it’s happening. 

I’ve noticed that I’ve paid too much attention to voices that weren’t God’s or mine. I’ve been influenced by thoughts whose only agenda was to confuse me and stop me from flourishing in life. I didn’t know any better because I had no idea that this was a reality happening around me and to me.

I found this to be a true reality because I couldn’t figure out why I thought some stuff that I didn’t actually want to think. Mike would sometimes tell me, “These are not your own thoughts.” I’ve always felt as if my mind was being abused by some weird energy I couldn’t control. I literally couldn’t wrap my head around why all of a sudden I felt drawn to think immoral thoughts despite my disgust. I believe that all of the negative manifestations of any kind start with a spiritual agreement that we made.

We listen to things that don’t help us. If we have no idea we can be influenced by other powers, the only one we can find to blame is ourselves. We believe that we are bad beings based on negative thoughts.

That is not true!

Yes, we can think negatively if we want to but I’m talking about the thoughts that are not the ones you want to think but are coming into your brain like thunderstorms and won’t let go; it’s the out-of-nowhere thoughts that are “happening to you,” that’s what their nature feels like. We feel out of control but, actually, we allowed these thoughts to come in and rule our minds. We listened to something that asks us for permission to play with our minds. The shame and guilt that comes afterward is not our own either. We don’t just say yes to the spirit's nature, we actually agree with any other possible purpose the spirit has.

All of this sounds scary…

But don’t worry! Evil doesn’t have power over us - only if we give it power.

We are more powerful than the negative influence we are under. Holy Spirit is our guide and He will help us get clarity. If you listen to Him and the truth over you, it will help you get out of the fog and see clearly. His voice feels right and true. He gives you peace and deep down in your being, you feel aligned and connected to what He has to say. It hits you in a way that won't confuse you.

You're not meant to be confused.

When you identify an evil Spirit you are already succeeding. 

The best and easiest way to not be affected by evil spirits is to recognize their nature and agenda and not listen. By disagreeing and despising the evil spirits, we don’t accept their fight for power. We ignore them and discard their existence. Intentional ignorance is protection in this scenario, because we don’t pay attention to what doesn’t deserve any.

Let us stop listening to what doesn’t deserve any voice and pay attention to the truth.

- Vera Danzeisen

Boundaries vs Control

Boundaries vs Control.jpg

If someone says something you don’t like, feel free to communicate that you don’t like what they said, you don’t agree, etc., But don’t ever despise their freedom to say it.

Celebrate and exercise healthy boundaries and self-respect but the moment you try to take away the freedom of someone else’s expression, no matter how ignorant or malicious their expression is, you violate yourself. When you take freedom away from someone else because of their behavior, you limit your ability to confidently enjoy your own freedom.

Love doesn’t flee the presence of evil, nor does love punish or control the person who chooses evil.

Feel free to oppose and disagree with the person’s choice but never punish or dominate the person.

They are a child of God. They may be immature, they may be in error, they may be deceived, but they are still God’s kid.

People will read this and go to town with their “But’s” and “What if’s” but what really gets exposed in the opposition is our need for control. Many of us think “if we can find a vicious enough form of evil, we can justify our need to use evil ourselves.”

Controlling and dominating the will of another person is evil. We don’t combat violence with violence. An aggressive, violent reaction to violence only exposes our fear and ignorance of the power we already possess. If a violent man can take away what we hold most dear, we never actually possessed it to begin with.

The problem isn’t violence. The problem isn’t evil.

The problem is our shallow relationship with the spirit of love. We are weak and overly sensitive about our hurts and ignorant of just how strong love can make us.

We must not snuff out evil, we must brave the depths of love.

The Dark Side of Being a Boss

The Dark Side of Being a Boss.jpg

Man, I feel like a boss and not necessarily in a good way; sometimes it makes me want to cry.

Everyone is on their own journey, at their own pace, currently operating at their own level of maturity. Everyone has their baggage, their strengths, their passion, their fears, their desires, their needs, their insecurities, their lifestyles, their habits, their dysfunctions, their partnerships with evil. It’s a really interesting dynamic to have to manage continually.

When you’re leading a group, a team, a company, or an organization, your perspective naturally elevates and you end up having to address and manage dynamics others don’t need to care about or can’t see. You practically get to a place where you don’t have time or emotional capacity to pastor and father every person in their mess, you start having to draw lines and boundaries with team members who refuse to take ownership over their own lives or to change the sabotaging beliefs and behaviors that steal from their own success.

Some days, I feel like a mega winner. So much so, I almost forget my life is real and have trouble comprehending that I get to be me. Other days, like today, I feel a pang of pain for those I’m leading whom I won’t rescue. Sometimes not rescuing people can feel heartless.

It’s one of the most painful things: allowing ourselves to be susceptible to compassion while refusing to coddle destructive patterns in people’s lives. It’s a lot easier to either just give in to enablement or shut dysfunctional people out entirely. It’s more emotionally expensive and challenging to maintain connection with compassion while choosing to let people make their own mistakes and experience the consequences of their choices; but love tends to sit there.

Love tends to refuse to look away from carnage while also refusing to violate the choice of another. Often, we like to impose our will on our loved ones to prevent the pain in ourselves of seeing them struggle...but this is actually selfish. We don’t impose to help, we impose to protect ourselves from compassion. We’re not heartless, we’re cowards. It’s selfish to numb or avoid the pain and also sabotage to one struggling from a real solution, should they ever end up wanting it.

So at the end of this day, I don’t agree with defeat. I don’t agree with the idea that I’m a terrible person, that I’m a tyrant, that I’m heartless for not rescuing people. I agree that being in the midst of pain and brokenness can suck and it’s okay. Somewhere along the way, I forgot their wholeness isn’t my responsibility so I’ll crawl back into my Dad’s lap and let Him remind me of what’s real and whose job it is to hold the world. I’ll wake up tomorrow still holding love’s hand. I’ll greet the broken ones and remember what it’s like to be a kid, a responsible, productive, authoritative kid.

Offended People

Offended People.jpg

One of the hardest things I get to deal with in my line of work is offended people.

The person in pain, who is offended and scared and angry, is actually in the lower seat; they are the one with the disadvantage. They are less in control of themselves than I am of me. If I get angry at them and “put them in their place,” call them to an accountability they don’t know how to manage, I end up adding to their pain and tightening their connection to the spirit of offense. This has been one of the most painful surrenders I’ve been privileged to give to love. When someone comes at you with a knife, it’s easy to want to pull your sword out.

But the King, the One who cannot be wrong and cannot be evil, doesn’t touch His sword. To their offense and aggression, He offers gentleness and humility.

If we can get past the temptation of pride and offense, we can hear the song in their scream. We can see the child in their eyes, we can feel the pain in their heart. How can we know them like this? Because they are us. Their pain is our own, it’s easier to reject them than to feel it.

Love is unconcerned with deficit, He’s unafraid of running out of Himself. He is endless in His supply but even if He wasn’t, by His very nature, He would still spill all of His blood to spare them. If I attack while He surrenders, I attack myself. If harm them while He bows, I harm myself.

Offense is evil but offended people are not, they are sick and the sick need a doctor, not a judge.

It’s when we have the power to discern between good and evil, the power to be correct, and we choose mercy that we have allowed love to be our sword.

 

You Want Attention

You Want Attention.png

Children have no problem demanding attention and exposing their shameless desire for it. Did our appetites change or did we just learn how to hide them better?

Attention is such a hot commodity we’re taught to pretend we don’t want. We’re told that maturity means we’re content to live in the shadows.

But there’s a problem...

We want people to notice us.

We want to be seen.

We want to be recognized and acknowledged.

We want to be celebrated.

We’re not allowed to admit we want these things?

Well, I disagree.

On my journey, I’ve found that my desire for attention hasn’t increased from getting it, it has matured. I recovered from being ashamed or embarrassed for harboring a deep longing for the spotlight. Having received plenty of attention throughout my life, from speaking on stages all around the world to having a social media following of hundreds of people responding to my daily activities, I’m grateful to have discovered that I never actually craved attention; I craved the light. I craved being known and understood, both in intimate relationships and in the world I lived in. I didn’t want to be noticed for my own glory, I wanted to be acknowledged as a legitimate contributor to the conversation. Once that desire was validated, it’s amazing how little I cared about whether people noticed me or not. The irony of this journey is the less we need to be seen, the more seen we become.

Everyone wants to be seen, to whatever degree. Maturity isn’t disguising this desire but admitting it and allowing ourselves to be seen in that place. We let the light touch us and as we acclimate to the warmth and applause, we discover within ourselves the desire to expand the light and warm our brothers.

 

There’s a clash that happens when we accept being seen. It’s the relinquish of the illusion that we have some control over how we’re perceived. The truth is, we’re not as in control of other’s perception of us as we like to think, we simply rest comfortably in the delusion that they can’t see us if we hide.
Being seen isn’t as much a natural state as it is a spiritual one. It’s an internal struggle of accepting who we are, glory and faults alike, regardless of whether other people follow suit or not.

When we embrace the light, we defy the lie that hiding is acceptable. We expose the drudgery of cowardice in the dark. We become the object of offense to those who are still hiding whilst simultaneously becoming the beacon of hope to those who want to come out.

God didn’t create a glorious people to hide them but to put them on display. Maturity looks like embracing the light, whatever our platform, and standing tall regardless of who’s watching. It’s time to grow, it’s time to be seen. It’s time to admit you want it and that it’s okay that you desire for your traits and feats to be recognized. Go ahead, admit it. You were born of love, it’s only natural that you should celebrate what you are and what you do, that’s definitely what love is doing.

 

Money On My Mind

vitaly-145502.jpg

Hello reader! My name is Joshua Griggs. I am the head of Social Media on Mike’s amazing team for the school year. One beautiful thing about working under Mike is that he never lets a conversation pass without drawing out the real you while in the midst. In only a month, Mike has changed my life, for the good, and forever. 

Day by day we are challenged by new truths that were never taught to us, as a group, and even believing the opposite. Everyday we are together, one of us has a beautiful breakdown in truth, breaking off lies and spirits that have been there for some time. And yesterday was my day.

Mike was talking to us about finances and what it actually looks like to be wealthy, not just rich but wealthy. Mike said something that made all of my insides shift into a place of defense, so I thought. He said “Your bank account is a reflection of your beliefs. NOT what kind of job you have or how hard you work.” For me, I grew up believing that if I work hard, I would get better jobs and more money, but never actually seeing those fruits as a result of my hard work. When he said this, something inside of me said “talk back, retaliate. He’s wrong.”

Fighting this truth for longer than 30 minutes, I finally breathed. Mike said something that has changed my life and helped me to consider. He said two things. The first, “I can only show you the door, Neo…” is from the Matrix movie, meaning that an opportunity can only be presented to you; you need to be the one to take it, I can not do it for you. And the second thing was a story. The story was about him going through this same thing, but opening his spirit up to a different source: truth. He considered.

Sitting there I realized, something had to change inside of me. I needed to change. I needed to consider. “I can only show you the door, Neo…”. Sometimes all we truly need is a direction in which to go. Mike showed me the door. Mike said “Here is truth. How far will you go?” So I stepped into the doorway. I considered “what if this is truth”. Everything inside of me stopped freaking out, because I finally let go of the spirit that has been ruining my life since I was a kid. I’m not fully out yet, but I choose to start walking through the door. I am believing that I will never live the rest of my life working for money.